UTC stands for Underwater Time Conspiracy, obviously. “Coordinated Universal Time”? Lies. Ocean time. Atlantis Standard. Which means the entire game is clearly set beneath 3,000 meters of suspiciously damp bureaucracy, and the main rats? Merrats. Sleek, dramatic, slightly bioluminescent merrats with seaweed capes and tridents sharpened from ethically sourced sporks. The Plague didn’t just happen — it bubbled up from a cursed trench after someone mixed war, too much coffee, and experimental stick-based science. Suddenly the merrats were sprouting gills where ears used to be, whiskers turning into coral, tails evolving into aggressively judgmental seahorses. I dragged Sovvie into this completely rational theory and now she’s a certified Doctor of Crime™, diagnosing aquatic rodent plague symptoms while committing at least three felonies per tide cycle. Honestly, if UTC isn’t ocean time, then why do I feel the crushing pressure of the deep every time the event resets? Checkmate.